how your mind could be so fucked up?

Now I'm not so sure about having a crush on. I'm not sure do I like the person, or not. I told about it to someone, without any names, so the person could not guess the persons name whom am I talking about.

The person answered to me, and now my mind is so fucked up. I don't know what to think about, said or anything.

I don't know what to say back to the person.

And I'm kinda afraid of to talk with the person, about this face to face. 'Cause, what if the person guesses it right? what am I going to do then? jump out of the window? slit my wrists open- or my throat? I mean really, I've thought about that I don't say anything back to the person, but go there (to the situation) and talk with the person face to face; at least I'm going to try it. I can't say 100% that I can talk about it easily with the person, no, because I have a feeling that the person seems to see right through me when I'm lying. And that is going to make the conversation harder. I don't even want to lie.

Sometimes, it's easy to see her, and sometimes when I see her, my heart starts to beat like crazy eating porridge. And I can feel my cheeks burning like Hell.

So I don't really know about this situation anything. I really hope here's someone out there to tell me what to do- or not to do anything. Because I want to do something about it, but do I want to risk anything? No I don't, I do not want to risk anything about to staring my own navel. It just don't work it like that, I can't stare my own navel and live my own world where is not anything bad etc.

Gosh, I want to shout out loud how I feel, or what is going through my head. Maybe I should really talk with the person about this face to face, even if I start to cry but what the fuck does that matters? Nothing, maybe that I could have some feelings towards her. I don't know, maybe time will show me how things really goes and flows.

Oh and now I actually like her, and maybe after writing this shit, I don't like. Who knows? Only god knows what will happen, and I somehow wish so freaking much that I could have chance to get to know her... And maybe be with her someday. Oh, someday... I could imagine like... ANYTHING, what I want to happen to me, but I don't want tell them in here.

-Sparrow Thanks and says goodnight and sleep tight!